The Pet Diaries

   PET DIARIES
                            As seen in a dog's diary:
                  8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
                  9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
                  10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
                  11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
                  Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
                  1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
                  3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
                  4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
                  5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
                  7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
                  9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
                            As seen in a cat's diary:
                  Day 183 of my captivity...
                  My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
                  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
                  The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
                  satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
                  Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my
                  captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
                  succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs.
                  In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
                  again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on
                  their bed.
                  Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt
                  to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
                  their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
                  cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
                  There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
                  in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
                  smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due
                  to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to
                  my advantage.
                  I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
                  The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
                  obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an
                  informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
                  every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is
                  assured.
                  But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...